Hello Sweetheart.....sorry you're feeling badly these days.....glad you told us about it.
I raised Boys and believe it or not, they often deal with much the same feelings as you describe however their reaction to these feelings and willingness to vocalize them is wherein the difference lies.
You sound like a bright articulate young lady and I'm guessing your already know that if, as you say, you are feeling depressed, it is difficult to come up with any positive thoughts about your future. Depression or even just a low mood, can make one feel as if they are climbing Mt. Everest carrying a suitcase in one hand and a watermelon in the other. Even if one is able to come up with an idea or two, depression or even just a low mood, can rob you of the energy you need to move forward.
The good news is that depression can lift as quickly as it came upon you especially if one is not tempted to wait until they feel better, to move forward...even just a little bit. It's often best to go ahead and do what you'd like to be doing, if only only weren't feeling so badly....even if you have to fake it. Sometimes just a brisk walk in the outdoors can be enough to sort of snap you out of that "stuck" feeling.
Anyone who has been your age and has slugged their way through the feelings and situations you described in your post, knows how unpleasant it feels and they also realize that they learned many valuable skills for having gone through it. They also know that it is absolutely possible to come through it with flying colors and to even be grateful for having experienced it. When you think of it, many beautiful works of art, amazing songs and books were born from someone's emotional suffering. Humans are capable of a full range of emotions and to be a fully developed person, one has to experience all of them....even the unpleasant ones.
The thing to remember is that your life is not an emergency. You are 16 and you must trust that like the rest of us, you'll make your way through your life doing the best you can, but you'll do this on a day to day basis, little by little gaining the skills and experience that will make things easier to deal with. Also, don't you think life would be a little boring if we had all the answers we need, immediately? Part of what makes life interesting is not knowing. Get comfortable with the unknown and not always having the answers. Some of the most interesting 40+ year olds I've met are the ones who don't know what they want to be when they grow up, are searching and are enjoying the process.
When you are feeling overly anxious it could be because you are looking too far ahead into the future to things that may never happen and to things that are impossible to resolve now. You may do better to reel your thoughts in so that you are thinking only a few days ahead and the baby steps you can take each day.
When you are feeling angry or sad, it could be because you are looking at the past and at things that have already happened and are over and done with. We feel our best when we live in the moment and are totally engrossed in what is happening right now and we are taking steps, no matter how small, toward the place or situation we'd like to eventually find ourselves in.
It's nice to hear that you love your parents and are interested in art and have talent. This is a good foundation from which to build...many would love to be able to say as much. I'm glad you have an outlet here regarding the JW issue but for now, try to see the value in it even if it's only the lesson you are learning in being patient and in sticking with things that you'd rather not do. That is a skill that will make your life a lot easier.
